Sunday, May 23, 2010

How Can This Be?

Sometimes life just rocks along and you're enjoying the view of mountains, vistas, and flowers, and sometimes it takes a wicked turn, into dark valleys that you would never willingly enter. Last week, our lives took one of those turns when my husband of 38 years had 4 mild strokes.  At least they called them mild. I can't talk about circumstances without feeling nauseated, so let me just talk about the results.

He can't communicate very well.  He has expressive aphasia.  He knows what he wants to say, there isn't memory loss that we know of, but he just can't form the words.  He can say "yes" and "no" with accuracy, which is a major blessing, so we are thankful for that.  He can't use his right side very well.  It's not paralyzed, he just can't make it work.  He's a big man, so I am limited in my ability to help him.  With the help of our PT son-in-law, and an awesome speech therapist friend, we were made to realize that he needed to enter inpatient rehab for intense physical, occupational, and speech therapy.

So, we're here, after several days in an acute care neuro hospital unit.  This is much better.

Before last week, I was pretty much a kept woman.  My husband is retired from education, and works part time.  I on the other hand, work many hours a week.  So, he pretty much did everything...most of the cooking, shopping, getting things fixed, paying all the bills, etc., etc.  Somehow, I've managed to get some of that done, and wouldn't you know the car and the air conditioner broke when I was trying to take care of him, my own job, and all these new household duties. I took the rest of the school year off. Thankfully, I have my children, sister and brother-in-law who have all helped beyond what they realize.  My husband's boss has been a major help as well.

Doug is a very social person, one of those people who never meets a stranger, the life-of-the-party type. Talking is one of his best I imagine that the frustration he's feeling about not being able to communicate is especially hard on him. 

I miss him.

While we're in this life situation, I know I have choices to make.  I'm a Christian...not a religious person, but someone who believes that a relationship with my saviour, Jesus Christ, makes a difference in my life.  When Jesus died, he said that he was establishing a new covenant, a better covenant based on his sacrifice. In that covenant was salvation, but salvation means way more than being saved from sin. The orginal language which I looked up one time, means soundness, protection, liberty, health and restoration. I've written that on a chalkboard in my kitchen. I am a covenant person, my husband is a covenant person.

So, why are we in this situation?  The simple answer is--there is no simple answer.  But this I know and believe, my faith unshaken...I am a covenant person.  My husband is a covenant person.  In this covenant of salvation is soundness, protection, liberty, health and restoration. 

Those things will come to pass.


  1. I'm so sorry for you and your husband. I am adding both of you to my to my prayer list, and asking for strength peace and a quick recovery.

  2. Kim,
    WOW!! I hadn't heard anything about this... Sorry to hear it. I know you miss Doug's lively personality and his constant joking ;} I'll put you guys in my prayers.

  3. I understand, Mom. I miss him too. I wish I could be closer and be there with you every day. I love you!!


Thank you for your sweet comments!